Just How Stupid Do I Look

Sadly, I seem to have fallen off the list of Nigerian Bank Transfer scams since I moved to Italy (you know the ones: “Dear Mrs. TK#W5^d, You have been hand-picked by the former Minister of the Interior to help us transfer eleven quadrillion dollars out of the country. We turn to you because you are the only one we can trust. Please advance us the small bank-transfer fee of $2,000 and we will be make sure that you are compensated for your trouble with a percentage payment of 12.7% of the eleven quadrillion dollars that are currently being held in escrow due to the untimely assassination of my husband at the hands of his former royal guard, who were involved in a plot with the ambassador to Fiji, who is also the brother of the president’s son-in-law.”

They’re so amusing that I was collecting them for a while, but then they stopped.

Fortunately, I’ve now found my way onto the Tutor Scam list instead (see, e.g., http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advance_fee_fraud#Tutor_scams), which is a relief. This gem arrived only this morning:

 

Subject: TOTUR LESSON NEEDED

Dear sir/ma,

Good day to you over there, I need a tutor for my son(Tom)for the month of January/2007, i got your advert while surfing through the internet and i really want my child to be taught by you.(Tom) is 14 year old and easily catch up.Although,i understand you are in (UK) but i’ve arranged with my client son Nanny living there that my daughter is coming to stay with her for his period of tutoring and she has agreed with me,i was based in Europe.Also i want him to be teach by 3 hours in a day.

1.CHARGE FOR AN HOUR THAT I WILL BE PAYING YOU…(EUR 50 PER HOUR)

2.TOTAL CHARGES FOR 2 WEEKS THAT HE WILL BE TAUGHT 3 TIMES PER WEEK IS AND 3 HOUR IN A DAY IS EUR150..

I contacts my son concerning the arrangement of the tutoring which he told me is ok by him and i want you to know that i am going to pay for 2 Week which is EUR 900 also i want you to know that my inlaw who is in state will be sending you a cheque of EUR 4,000 As soon as recieve the cheque I want you to proceed sending and the remaining money to my agent in Greece so that terry will come to UK . which i want you to know that the rest will be used for the flight to your location and any other arrangement voice lesson,

If you agree with these terms mail me back with …

Your full name………
Contact address…….
Postal zip code……..
counrty ……………
Home phone #………..
Cell #……………..

All these in which i would forward to my account keeper back in the Eurpoe to issue out the payments(cheque).

Thank..

This marvel, by the way, comes from “james ron,” whose addresses are jamseron2007@yahoo.dk and vetbs@comcast.net. (Yahoo.dk is Denmark.) I list them here in the hope that spam robots will crawl my blog and harvest his addresses and send him 34,371 unwanted advertisements for v!agr.A.

I dunno what’s funnier, the idea that the writer has desperate need of my personal tutoring services but doesn’t know if I’m a “sir” or a “ma”; that he thinks I’m in the UK; that his son, Tom, becomes a daughter and then at some point changes his name to Terry; that he can’t decide if he wants to scam me for English classes or voice lessons; or that the only thing that’s not wrong in the email is the calculation of the price.

Mammamia. What we won’t go through to have a good time.

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Posted on 3 January 2007, in Write ... che ti passa. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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