We Are Not Bio
At some point back in late March, I imagined pesticide-free gardening and had already spent some time investigating “alternative” ways to discourage common garden pests.
But that was before The Silence of the Mollusks. We’d barely put our tiny, defenseless zucchini seedlings, fresh out of the hothouse, into the ground when slimy, unspeakable creatures began to feast on them during the night. And not just a bite or two, either That was when I decided: There are some things up with which I will not put. We Are Not Bio.
The thing is, I’ve always been a gastropod kind of guy. When I go fossil collecting, I’m generally much more interested in gastropods (on the mollusk side of things) than the all-too-common and often fairly boring bivalves. Gastropods are much more fun to find at the seashore, too; they’re more colorful and their shapes are more fanciful and elegant.
Constant Readers will recall last year’s passionate episode of love-and-abandonment with the pigeons. Sadly, we’ve moved in the same direction with Helix aspersa. (These are the ones that people eat, or so I’m told. The house next door has apparently turned into an affittacamera, by the way, and there’s a lot of furren talk coming out of their back yard [Germans and French, to wit], so I’d certainly have preferred it if they’d leaned over the fence and gathered the snails up before we got to this stage. Unfortunately they didn’t, and that is how we found ourselves with a box of the turquoise-blue pills of the lumachicida in hand. Personally, I blame the French.)
Can you hear the snails screaming, Clarice?