My God’s Bigger Than Your God


As you may have noticed, I’ve been keeping my distance from the Election ’08 shenanigans in the YouEssUvA.

One, because the whole thing is prodigiously depressing. Even at this great (and mercifully insulating) distance, I some weeks ago quit being able to bear the sight of John McCain’s cheeks or the way they sort of spring apart like elevator doors coming unstuck whenever he makes that terrifying smirk of his (which CNN tells us is his smile). As for HER … it’s no fun even making fun. How many times can you sit around with friends, counting along while she drops her “g’s,” before it’s just … demoralizing.

Now, I might normally be getting some giggles out of the 2008 version of The Surreal Life—Wasilla (starring: the American people), but since there’s a decent chance she’s going to get to play Arsenic and Old Lace with a 72-year-old man with skin cancer, the laughter has a tendency to kind of, um, die.

Two: I can’t friggin’ believe it. (Though this might be the same as #1.) I mean, I realize I’m not alone in this. I’m quite sure, when Obama gets home at night after a tough day on the campaign trail, that he hangs his head in his hands and asks Michelle, “Does it actually seem possible to you that the stiff and the pinhead are neck-and-neck with me and Joe?”

And three: A lot of my commentary on the campaign thus far is along the lines of “How can you people be so f***ing stupid?” which isn’t exactly elevated discourse. Plus, people who are stupid really don’t like being told they’re stupid. Moreover, even if they had some interest in agreeing with you, they’re too stupid to take any actual action to repair the situation. So you begin to see the limitations.

At the same time, however, my email box has, for weeks, been filling up with messages whose theme is “Many supporters of McCain/Palin are thoughtful and sensitive human beings who have well considered reasons for their choice, and they deserve our respect.”

Well, if “deserve our respect” means we shouldn’t have them forcibly sterilized, bulldozed into shallow-pit graves, or chased across the border by rabid Dobermans, I most certainly agree. Tearing up their voter registration cards would more than satisfy me.

Meanwhile, I’m still waiting for science to identify the McCain/Palin supporter who doesn’t start out every argument with “I heard on Rush/my minister told us/FOX news says,” who doesn’t show up at McCain/Palin rallies carrying a stuffed monkey (a monkey!) with an Obama sticker on its chest, or whose idea of full and rigorous debate isn’t “Barack Hussein Obama – the name says it all.”

This is the American Idiotocracy. And it votes. Which, see Paragraph 2.

On an entirely related note: We saw The Mist last weekend (the latest Stephen King movie), and there’s that scene where all the townspeople are trapped in the supermarket by the deadly fog, and then Marcia Gay Harden sets in to preaching about The End Times and waving her Bible and haranguing everyone about the need for Ex-Pi-A-Tion, and one by one the others start getting strange looks on their faces … blank, but sort of prognathous and glowering at the same time … I mean, was I the only one who thought it looked like a McCain/Palin campaign rally?

For instance, the one in Davenport, Iowa, on October 11, where Rev. Arnold Conrad, formerly of the Grace Evangelical Free Church, preceded McCain’s appearance with this thoughtful oration:

“I would pray, Lord, that your reputation is involved in all that happens between now and November, because there are millions of people around this world praying to their god—whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah—that his opponent wins, for a variety of reasons. And Lord, I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you will step forward and honor your own name with all that happens between now and Election Day.”

Now, I know people who were appalled – APPALLED, do you hear me? – by Obama’s association with that terrible racist and black supremacist, the Rev. Jeremiah White. And I’m just as sure as I can be that those very same people will be up in arms about McCain’s association with a minister who believes (a) that non-Xians are the equivalent of “heathens” and (b) that the One True God belongs both to the Xian Right and the Republican Party. Or by Palin’s with a church that holds “Pray the Gay Away” services to help troubled members overcome the sin of homosex (though, once you’d killed off all the wildlife, I wouldn’t have thought there was all that much else to do in Alaska besides homosex).

Because, of course, supporters of Obama/Biden are thoughtful and sensitive human beings who have well considered reasons for their choice, and they deserve our respect.


Posted on 14 October 2008, in AmeriKKKa the Bootiful, You Can Always Count on a Little Homophobia and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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