Slings and Arrows: They Always Come from the Left

If you haven’t been following Italian politics lately (and who could blame you?), including NoemiGate and the Paid Escort Scandals, the following OpEd from La Stampa might not make all that much sense to you.

In short, though, there was a sort of coup in Italy yesterday, when the Constitutional Court declared a 2008 law, the so-called “Lodo Alfano,” unconstitutional. The legislation, one of Silvio Berlusconi’s most Machiavellian triumphs, exempted him and three other of Italy’s “più alte cariche” (highest-level government officials) from being prosecuted for … well, for anything illegal they had ever done.

The immediate result of the passage of the Lodo Alfano was to suspend two mega-trials (involving, among other things, the bribing of judges and other serious chicanery) in which Silvio B. is a defendant. With yesterday’s opinion, those trials should pick up where they left off, but I wouldn’t hold my breath: Silvio certainly has a few tricks left up his sleeve and I doubt we’ve heard the last of the “Lodo.”

In the meantime, Berlusconi gave one of his classic performances on TV last night, fulminating against the “Left” for having poisoned the Courts and twisted the media against him.

In the good-old, bad-old days, Berlusconi used to insist that filthy, baby-eating Communists were behind any objection to his papal decrees ukases supreme commandments proposals, and that was back when you were more likely to happen upon an honest cab driver in Rome than a real Communist in Italy. Now he limits himself to calling out “the Left,” which is the source of all evil.

And that, as Massimo Gramellini points out in his delightful satire, explains just about everything.

* * * * * *

Slings and Arrows: They Always Come from the Left
by Massimo Gramellini
English transaltion by ProvenWrite

After yesterday’s proclamation by the Boss, we’ve finally got a clear picture of where things stand. Italian judges are Leftists, which is nothing new. Public television, with the exception of Topo Gigio, is Leftist. Seventy-two percent of newspapers are Leftist (not 71 and not 73: 72%; He said it himself). The Constitutional Court is Leftist; the Quirinale, where the President of the Italian Republic lives, is Leftist; referees and umpires are almost always Leftists. Cops who hand out traffic tickets are Leftists. The teachers who give my son “Ds” are Leftists; the neighbor who stinks up our entire building with whatever he’s frying is a Leftist; the woman who stole my parking place is a Leftist, just like the Queen in Snow White, Veronica Lario (Berlusconi’s second wife), and the Constitution: Leftists, every single one.

The alarm clock that wakes you up at 7am is Leftist; having to shave is Leftist; coffee without sugar is Leftist; traffic jams and holes in my socks are Leftist; my hateful boss is a Leftist; my wife nagging me about the errands she wants me to run is an extreme Leftist. The lottery is Leftist, otherwise I’d win. Foreigners, professional comedians, and black cats are Leftists. Paid escorts are Leftists, but only the ones who can’t keep their mouths shut afterward. Cavour (Italy’s first prime minister in 1861) was a Leftist, but so were Indro Montanelli and Frederick I, if that’s the issue. Gianfranco Fini is a Leftist and the weather forecast is, too, at least if it predicts rain. Even I become a Leftist when I have trouble digesting my stewed bell-peppers. In Italy, there’s only one disaster that isn’t Leftist, and that’s the Left.

P.S. Long live Italy, long live Berlusconi! (yes, He said that, too!)


Posted on 8 October 2009, in Berlusconistan, Italy, Italian, Italians (in that order) and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. >Very nice! (And a very nice translation!)

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