The Feast (sic) of Little Italy in Jupiter, Florida

It’s almost time for the “Feast of Little Italy” in Jupiter, Florida.

Jupiter: the town that Publix bought; the beach burg where the white American gated-community bourgeoisie has come to make its last, desperate stand (in the parking lot of a mall); that up-and-coming little piece of heaven where, if you want to be somebody, you’d better have a boat in your driveway, a Mexican gardener in the front yard, and a realtor on speed dial.OK, so there is no Little Italy in Jupiter. And even if there were, he/she/it wouldn’t be a saint and, thus, wouldn’t properly have a “feast” day.But whatever.

Much more disturbing is the message from the organizers of the event who exhort us on their Facebook Page: “LETS NOT FORGET THE BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN SERVING IN THE ARMED FORCES AND THEIR FAMILIES, IT IS THANKS TO THEM AND THEIR SACRIFICES THAT WE CAN GATHER AND ENJOY.”

More disturbing than the run-on sentences and MIA apostrophes, I mean.

So, um, exactly why is it that we have our “brave men and women in the armed forces” to thank for the “Feast of Little Italy”? Were the Iraqis secretly plotting to shut the whole thing down? Was military intervention required to allow stands to sell fake cannoli and overpriced olive oil?

Did someone with an Arab accent phone in a threat to frag the tent where they’re playing “That’s Amoooore” for the 87th time?

I had the silly idea, meanwhile, that the freedom to “gather and enjoy” (well, to gather anyway) was enshrined in the Bill of Rights. So, if anything, we should really be thanking the staff members of the ACLU for their sacrifices…. But I have a feeling that’s not going to happen.

I have that feeling because, when I expressed the above sentiment on the FB page of the “Feast,” the Feasters promptly deleted it, in keeping with the typical Republican definition of democracy. In other words, our “brave men and women are serving in the armed forces” to protect the organizers’ right to censor opinions they don’t agree with.

We’ll be reporting from the “Feast” as it unfolds. But I’m already fairly certain we’re going to find an awful lot of tea there, if you know what I mean.

God bless Amerikkka.


Posted on 25 October 2010, in Florida Sucks OK! and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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