Tom Rooney, Congresstard from the 16th District in Florida, and Official Tea Party Butt Boy
Tom Rooney (in golf-course-Republican blue) has his hand on which man’s ass?
Tommy hails from Palm Beach Gardens, home of generations of utterly pointless white people. As a Representative, he’ll hang out for a few years in the safety of our capital and retire with full pay and medical coverage until the day he dies. (He doesn’t want you to have health insurance, however, and says that “Obamacare” is “already hurting our economy and costing us jobs.” This is because, frankly, the Tea Party has its fist so far up Tommy’s ass that he has lost all ability to speak or write anything other than the Top 12 Catch-Phrases of the TeaRepublican Brain-Dead. That, plus he’s an idiot.)
The guys he is pictured with, meanwhile, whose glory Tom is hoping will squirt all over him in some sort of Patriotism Bukake Orgy (Tommy Boy spent his four years in the Army in a nice, air-conditioned JAG office), will risk their lives and then retire at 50% pay.
Let’s also not forget that Tom won his office solely because his opponent was caught in a sex scandal shortly before the election. Otherwise, Tommy would have lost his election and gone on to one of the careers open to all aging frat boys in South Florida: real-estate agent, ambulance-chasing attorney, or car salesman.