Carlo Taormina Takes His (La) Palice in Internet History
June 13, 2016:
And another country heard from.
In Italy, Carlo Taormina, an attorney, ex-parliamentarian, Berlusconi acolyte, and serial joiner of all of Italy’s best right-wing and formerly Fascist parties, tweeted this today:
“L’attentato a Orlando perché due gay si baciavano. Sta di fatto che se si fossero baciato due etero, non sarebbe successo niente.” (@carlo_taormina)
“The attack in Orlando (happened) because two gay (men) were kissing each other. The fact of the matter is that if a heterosexual couple had been kissing, nothing would have come of it.”
Yes, Signor Taormina. That’s pretty much exactly the point.
June 14, 2016
Here’s a follow-up to yesterday’s post about Italian politico and rightwinger, Carlo Taormina, who Tweeted that “The attack in Orlando (happened) because two gay (men) were kissing each other. The fact of the matter is that if a heterosexual couple had been kissing, nothing would have come of it.”
Here’s the original Tweet, in case Taormina decides at some point he should delete it:
An entire FB page dedicated to Taormina has since opened up: “I ‘Se’ Lapalissiani dell’Avvocato Taormina” or: “The Lapalissadian ‘Ifs’ of Counselor Taormina.”
The page’s name is little high-falutin’, but it’s an interesting literary reference to a 16th-century French nobleman and military officer, Jacques de La Palice (also spelled de La Palisse), whose epitaph reads:
“Ci-gît le Seigneur de La Palice: s’il n’était pas mort, il ƒerait encore envie.” (“Here lies Seigneur de La Palice: If he were not dead, he would still be envied.”)
Deliberately or not, the epitaph has been misread as “il [serait] encore en vie,” so: “If he were not dead, he would still be alive.”
The so-called “medial s” (think of the way “Congreƒs” is written in the Bill of Rights), which was common up through the beginning of the 18th century, helps the confusion—or makes the pun possible.
In any case, a “lapalissade” is a comical truism, an obvious or self-evident statement, especially one uttered with apparent gravity.
So, as I say, there’s now a whole page of Taorminian “lapalissades” (in Italian), complete with memes. Making allowances for the often crude humor of Italians, some of the pearls are:
- “If all the residents of Hiroshima had gone to the beach on August 6th, no one would have died.”
- “If Jews had only been Catholics, nobody would have been sent to the ovens.”
- “If the Titanic had been a submarine, they’d have seen the iceberg.”
- “If the Twin Towers had been row houses, they’d never have been destroyed.”